12 years today..

Yet another year has passed since you were taken away from us, and I can honestly say we all think about you every single day Bamps. You had such an impact on all of our lives, you were such a wonderful genuine human being, and it was a such shame that such a caring person got taken from us so young so tragically. I still remember the exact moment I found out that you’d passed and how crushed I felt, as if my heart had been torn out of my chest… I’ll always remember you, you were my first ever best friend.  I’ll keep trying my best to do you proud Bamps, my love always, RIP x

Loosing someone is never easy and people say it gets easier, but in my case, I disagree I don’t think it gets easier, the thought of never seeing or hearing that certain person’s voice ever again crushes me… I guess you just somehow learn to deal with the pain, and you get on with your life. You go to work, you go to school, you just carry on as normal. It doesn’t mean for one single second that you’ve forgotten about them it’s the complete opposite actually. Every person deals with death in their own certain way and this is mine and how I think about it… They wouldn’t want you mourning over them, staying in night after night being sad, remembering all the times you had together and how you’re never going to experience their touch or even hear their laughter again. You go out you have fun, but you don’t forget. It’s fine every now and again to have a night in and to relive the memories but you can’t let it take over your life, they wouldn’t want that. Remember them in their prime, not when they got sick, a disease/sickness will change a person, so remember them as they were all those years ago when they were truly happy. Make sure you  live your life to the full, and make them proud. Do all the things you want to do, even all the things that they weren’t able to do because of this unfortunate account, be greatful that you’re alive, because as we all know, life is too short… just make sure you make the most of it – and have no regrets…

x

 

 

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Understand

It’s always hard in a relationship to know what to say to your significant other, you don’t want to upset your partner, you just want to be there for them, whether that’s cuddling up with them making sure they’re alright, giving them the courage that everhthing is going to be fine or just leaving them to it, giving them some space to get their head around whatever it is that they’re worrying about. It’s always going to be horrible seeing your partner in such a state but I believe that it only makes the heart fonder, and your love stronger. It shows you that vulnerability that nobody else gets to see and that makes it truly special…it makes you want to make them never feel the way they did when they were at their lowest, and you’d do anything you could in order to keep them off of that path of destruction, you decided Instead to go down a new path, and you begin lead them down the road to happiness

My snapshots ♥

Another passion I have is photography, I love capturing the moment and looking back on the photographs in the future and reliving the memories… I’m a little Sky obsessed, the way the colours change, the clouds and how different it looks every single day and night amazes me. I will photograph anything that catches my eye, hope you enjoy X

Fire in the sky
Home sweet home
Candy pink waters
American sunset
Treetops
Holiday umbrellas

Love

We’ve all been heart broken right?

It sucks I know, nothing anybody says seems to budge that feeling from you, you don’t believe it, you start asking yourselves questions like ‘what’s wrong with me?’ or being disheartened about your appearance or whatever it is… Every single one of you will experience heart break in your life time at least once, it’s perfectly normal and believe it or not it will turn you into the amazing person you’re so destined to be.

I’m here to tell you it gets better, I’ve been through this and I’ve come out bigger and stronger than ever. And the secret to a happy life is no matter how harsh it sounds is to just Get over it! Now you may think wow she’s brutal, she has no emotion or feelings but to be honest with you it’s the truth. For example, tell me this… What’s better, sitting around moping about your heartbreak or going over and over scenarios obsessing over the break up, or going out and just socializing with people, letting your hair down, just enjoying yourself!  Rediscovering who you are again. Being in a relationship changes you, which I’m not saying is always a bad thing but it’s good to have those moments to yourself where you can focus on something you love, or even go and see a film you like, go and hang with your girlfriends, the possibilities are endless. Also I find that love appears in the most random moments, usually ones where you’re not even expecting to find it, and that’s what makes is so perfect. As horrible as it sounds, you need to realize that you just weren’t meant to be and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe the timing is just off, if you’re meant to be then without even trying your paths will cross again trust me, stop obsessing it’ll only make the pain even deeper. I’m not saying you should hold on and 10 years down the line expect you to be back together but if you truly were meant to be then you’ll be, it takes time. In the meantime like I said, go out and enjoy yourselves, do things that you want to do (and that doesn’t mean driving past your ex’s house in the middle of the night to see if they’re in – that’s a no no from me) I started living again, I learnt not to hold grudges when it came to love, or life in general, you just can’t afford to, so I recommend that you do the same! Forgive people, move on, free yourself, go on an adventure, who knows what kind of people’ll you’ll meet on the way, what kind of friendships you’ll make, just get up everyday and made your life worth living, that’s what I did. I went on spontaneous trips with my friends, I passed my driving test, I even managed to get a distinction for my second year at university which is an absolute miracle. Now, I’m as happy as I’ve ever been. I’ve got a new boyfriend, and we actually want to grow together, he’s a performer/actor like me so we have a lot in common, to be honest, he’s literally the male equivalent of me, he’s just as odd as me if not he’s even weirder, he loves all the things I love – most of them, he’s not the best painter :p –  And fingers crossed by September we will be moving to New York together, to for fill our careers at the academy and see where it leads us.

See, I told you things get better.

Making my blog…

So around 8’o clock this evening I decided that I was going to make a blog! I thought it was going to be a great idea, I’d upload some pictures i’d write a little bit about myself but here we are at 2.42am still tying to get my head around this whole blogging business! I spent hours and hours surfing the net watching videos about how to set up a blog, how to submit blogs etc and it still doesn’t make sense to me… I’ve been huffing and puffing and wanting to throw my laptop across the room, but 5 hours later I think I’ve finally worked out how to use it, well to post a blog at least, we’ll soon see if I have because you wont be able to see this post if I haven’t haha…I’ve already began to notice how addictive blogging is already! Goodbye social life… Hello late night blogger!

Cheerio x

Ps. Here’s a little bit I’ve wrote about me I’ve managed to squeeze in tonight, take a look and i’ll do a more detailed entry tomorrow!